The myth of the ‘real woman’

Ultimo have announced that a further seven women have joined their ‘real women’ campaign to model Ultimo, Miss Ultimo, and Ultimo Couture on ultimo.co.uk and in Debenhams stores.

It’s got us thinking. While there’s no doubt this and other ‘real woman’ campaigns stem from an positive desire to make brands more representative, I can’t help but wonder if there isn’t a better name for this sort of marketing.

The problem with campaigns that identify these non-traditional models as ‘real women’ is that they aren’t as inclusive and celebratory as they think are. Just by calling them ‘real women’, these campaigns immediately identify the chosen women as different and invite judgement and comparisons; not just with the models they have replaced but also with other, equally real but differently ‘real’ women. It reinforces the ridiculous notion that a woman’s worth and validity is based on the way she looks, and it is still holding up a certain shape – whatever shape that may be – as the right one.

If more diverse shapes and sizes are ever going to become normalised in fashion and the media, we need to stop labelling these differences with tags like this. Let’s embrace all sizes and shapes (and colours, and ages too please), but in doing so let’s not just create a different set of rules for pigeonholing women.  All women – big, small or surgically enhanced – are real regardless.

Campaigns representing more diversity are a step in the right direction, and there’s no doubt that for the women involved it can be a tremendously positive and affirming experience.  But only when any shape can pose without being justified as ‘real’ will we really be on our way to size equality.

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Bigger on the inside: TARDIS BRA

Doctor Who returns to our screens on Saturday, and we’re so ridiculously overexcited we couldn’t resist a gratuitous Who themed blog post. So, in honour of the eleventh and my second favourite Doctor (after Tom Baker, of course…), let us celebrate the wonder of Time and Relative Dimension in Bras: the Panache Tango Plunge.

The Tango Plunge was the first bra I was ever properly fitted in to, and years (and many replacements) later it is still one of my staples, despite the fact that – as a shorts-wearer – it forces me to mix-and-match with generic M&S smalls.

I am proud of my G-cups and enjoy deploying them at will, but there are some outfits and some occasions where I prefer to minimise their effect (when I need a bio-dampener for boobies perhaps, for any confused and lost Who fans wondering where in the universe their browser has landed…).  Panache Tango’s subtle shaping and always-perfect fit streamline your cleavage to make it appear less pronounced. And it’s a great fix too for ungenerously cut high street dresses that pull up or twist with a more prominent shape: it’s like a kinder (and more fetching) pair of Spanx for the knockers.

Unlike the minimiser bras M&S used to threaten me with when I was younger, it doesn’t achieve this by restricting you or squishing you in to shapes you’re too big for. Somehow it takes your breasts and – using transendental dimensionalism, I assume – disguises them as a much more modest bra size.  I wonder if it really is bigger on the inside.

The Tango Plunge comes in a wide range of sizes and colours in 28DD-38H, and is widely available from stores and sites including B4J favourites Bravissimo and Lembrassa.

One word of caution: whilst a great basic, well made and a resilient day bra, it is not suitable for vigorous activity: a day juddering on my bike in Amsterdam riddled it with holes. I’d seek out a more shock absorbing style for your more intensive time-travelling adventures…

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Some girls they like candy…: the joy of Hanky Panky

As if I needed any more lingerie habits to feed, on Saturday I was introduced by Amsterdam’s lovely Salon de Lingerie to luxury American knicker brand Hanky Panky.

At £25-30/€30-35, it’s not your every day M&S mix-and-match, but on this occasion it was the same price as the sold out matching Freya amethyst shorts I needed and the colour (and style, have to love Freya Jolie’s versatility) were bang on perfect.  Hanky Panky sell knickers of every shape, style and colour; making it’s a perfect, adaptable and desirable alternative to matching sets when matching sets aren’t possible.  Which is great news when you’re dithering over an amazing sale bra-gain because the knickers have already sold out..

And even better, as well as being bright and sexy and perfect with my new amethyst bra; the Hanky Panky knickers are far and away the most comfortable I’ve ever worn.  Something tells me and my quaking credit card that this is not my last pair…

Hanky Panky are available in the UK from ASOS and Figleaves, and boutiques across the world.

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Vote for your winner: Star in a Bra

Finally, after a week of behind-the-scenes teasers, Curvy Kate reveal the results of the 2011 Star in a Bra finalists’ photo shoot.

You can vote for your winner by visiting their Facebook page here.  All of the girls look gorgeous, and after lots of long lingerie Twitter chats with them all it’s clear that’s a trait that runs inside and out. Any one of them could claim the title, but all of them deserve it.

It’s almost too difficult to have to pick one.  Perhaps we could have electoral reform for next year? Let’s all say YES to AV. Especially when there are DD+s involved…

Voting closes on 3rd May and the winner and new face of Curvy Kate Lingerie will be crowned on the 5th… Good luck girls, you’re all fabulous xx

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JUST LAUNCHED: brand new thing to worry about.

I haven’t ever spent much time thinking about bra wrinkles, but on considering this solution – the La Decollette ‘wrinkle smoothing bra’ invented by Dutch woman Rachel de Boer – they can’t be more unsightly than the prospect of going to bed wearing this every night.

The bra, which helps prevent the vertical creases caused by your unsupported boobs squishing together when sleeping on your side (damned insubordination), retails at $72, and is the product of seven years of sleeping with a bra stuffed with socks on.

I’ve just spent five minutes in deep contemplation with the skin between my boobs.  My conclusion?  That’s five minutes of my life I won’t get back. My skin is smooth, though I notice when I move it around that it’s not as flawless as it was ten years ago.  I’m not exactly gripped with panic. Ten years ago, I was an eighteen year old girl with eighteen year old skin and eighteen year old experiences.  I’d be looking for signs of vampirism if everything I’ve crammed in to the last ten years hadn’t had any impact on my cells.  Similarly, with my face and my arse together, at thirty-eight I expect to be wearing ten years worth of wrinkles more.  With ten more years of life as compensation, I think I can handle that.

Of course there are women who are desperate for support when they sleep, but that’s a totally different issue: it’s being marketed as an anti-wrinkle bra, not a pro-boob comfort bra. And I can think of  better things to be doing with our time, money, brain space and bedtimes than worry about another inconsequential and inevitable wrinkle.  I can’t help but think that not sweating the small stuff is one of the best defences against premature ageing. Why fight the tide when you can ride on the surf?

I think Mitchell and Webb sum the state of things up:

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