Regular readers will know that I am a huge fan of my black 30G Freya Deco bra. On one hand, it’s an imperfect fit on me (they run large, so size down…) and with a not-too-tight back and empty-at-the-top cup I am aware that there is room for improvement. But as blogged about often here, it is simply AMAZING for bicycling – which as a keen cyclist and Amsterdam resident means it gets a fair amount of action. I decided it was time long overdue to add a few more to my family…

With Figleaves offering 20% off Freya the other week, I jumped to do just that. I needed – as all girls do – a skin-tone bra for under tricky tops, and on top of that I’d heard so often that the Deco Strapless was a bra to rival my old favourite – the Wonderbra Ultimate Strapless – that I thought I should try that too. The pair escorted my replacement Bardot briefs, who are now part of a perfect bikini set… just in time for Winter. Sigh.

Let’s start with the nude. Knowing how my 30G fits, I took a punt on a 28G (the Deco doesn’t go to GG in a 28 back). And actually, it was great: comfortable and a lovely shape in the cup. So lovely in fact that I was in for something of a shock. Perfectly fitting, the Deco gives the sort of cleavage that would stop air travel, let alone passing traffic. Under clothes G-Unit looked like bazookas: perfectly moulded Barbie boobs that simply defied nature. What can I say? I look forward to trying it out on the general public.

The strapless Deco was less successful for me, also in a 28G. I’d heard (after ordering) that the strapless Deco was more ‘true to size’ than the original one, but actually the problem wasn’t the fit – that seemed fine. It was a lovely shape and I actually loved the Victoria Beckham style floating orbs it gave me when I put on a strapless dress. But I don’t have masses amount of flesh on my ribs at best and my rib cage is quite ‘flared’, which means that some bras – particularly strapless ones – simply end up putting abnormal pressure on my sternum and bones. In spite of spectacular reviews, the Freya Deco strapless must join the also-recommended Panache Evie and Porcelain the the pile of bras that simply are not made for me. Before I’d so much as pulled off my test dress, I could feel the tell-tale pressure that would leave me begging to be taken home early if I ever left the house in it. My heart still belongs to Wonderbra’s Ultimate Strapless – which at an imperfect (v snug) 32F – was supportive and comfortable enough to pass the ultimate test of bridesmaid duty, let alone reviewer’s duty. Fellow bony bods take note.

Deco is available in most good lingerie shops, and is available soon in red. YES.