The Freya Cabaret bikini was so far under my swimwear radar this season that I couldn’t have picked it out of a line-up. With armfuls of amazing prints and cuts from Freya, Panache, Fantasie, Figleaves and Slinky Dip, I hadn’t even entertained the thought of buying such a basic swimsuit.

There’s nothing like a sale to change a girl’s mind. Upon my recent shopping binge trip to London, I was fortunate enough to hit the Selfridges lingerie department within hours of the sale starting. After a frantic few minutes (mostly spent laughing at Mr B4J as he pulled 30G after 30G off the rails and dropped them in to my arms like a crazed Supermarket Sweep player), I left with five co-ordinating sets for under £90 and an incredibly broad grin on my face. One of those sets was a bright turquoise Freya Cabaret bikini, from Freya’s AW10 collection, for less than £20.

It wasn’t anywhere near my List Of Top 20 Bikinis I Planned To Buy That Day, but buying this Freya Cabaret may be one of the best things I never meant to do. It’s about four-million degrees here and I’ve been wearing it all day instead of what conventionally passes for workwear. It is so incredibly comfortable I keep forgetting I’m not wearing loungewear and find myself absent-mindedly loitering at the window watching the boats (not advisable in Amsterdam…). I actually think it might be more comfortable than my very favourite sunshine yellow balconette, and the plunge style gives a gorgeous rounded but subtly uplifted cleavage that gives a cheeky ‘hello sunshine’ without startling the seagulls.

The fit is great, the briefs are cut to flatter, and it always comes in a crisp, bright colour to suit the widest range of skin tones, from the very dark to the dead-a-while white of celtic throwbacks like me.  I have but one niggle. The briefs are embellished with a strap detail that will only invite mischief. Think twice before deploying water balloons/cannonballs/ice cream theft: revenge is swift and sweet when you have a visible ripcord near your nether regions…

So Cabaret is the secret treasure of the Freya Swim chest, and is available this season in luscious purple. Avast!

(I still want Bardot for my birthday though, please and thank you…)