And the first odd beauty story of 2014 is… boob deodorant. Now, I’m no fan of ‘invented beauty issues’, and all of the media I’ve read around the subject focusses on this being another symptom of a culture that spends a lot of time (and makes a lot of money) from inventing new problems for women to worry about, and new unattainable standards for women to be held up to. There’s no question that this is a real phenomena. But for once, I disagree that boob deodorant is a part of it.
Most big boobed girls will understand why this product could exist. Hell, in summers between 1997-2007 I would routinely roll my Sure across my ribs. There are few things more distracting to a class or a night in the pub or a day at work than (no exaggeration) rivulets of sweat running down your stomach.
Why did I stop this weird, desperate behaviour in 2007? Hint – it wasn’t because someone invented a better product than my cotton fresh roll-on. It’s because I changed the bra size I wore from a 34E to a 30G.
When you have heavy breasts, you need to wear a tighter back band than your smaller breasted friends might because you need a stronger anchor to keep them in place. Too loose, and the back will ride up… because the front is being pulled down. This results in breast resting on chest – skin on skin – and just like the sweat you get behind your bent knees and elbows on a hot day, it sweats. Yes, it’s natural – but being a teenager is hard enough already without throwing in wet chest patches and under-dress dripping.
Boob deodorant isn’t like ‘underarm beautifying deodorant’ or the baffling ‘boob wrinkle smoothing bra‘ because it isn’t an invention designed to make us feel crap about something we didn’t realise we had to feel crap about. If you are unlucky enough to suffer from ‘swoobs’, you feel crap about it already. Much like bras with padded shoulders to avoid digging, or over-sizing bra components to avoid overspill, boob deodorant is a salve for the symptom, not a cure for the problem. Throw away your quick-fix gimmicks and everything you think you know about bra fitting. If your underboobs are sweating profusely, a better fitting bra is your key to a dryer, more comfortable summer.