I thought that if I could ever be grown up enough to own a house, I’d be altogether a much more collected version of myself than I was previously. I’d have somehow grown out of the habit of leaving clothes on the bathroom floor, have grown in to regular hair maintenance, and would spend my evenings writing in a smoking gown and elegant, taupe lingerie. No, I don’t know why either.

Well, I just bought a house [hence the less-frequent-than-normal blogging. Picking electrical sockets takes tiiiiime], and in spite of levelling up to a height of grown-up-ishness I barely thought possible I still cannot be held accountable for the whereabouts of all my socks, my hair is a two-foot long shag that gets cut once a year by a despairing hairdresser wielding shears, and my lingerie – though still rocking, obvs – hasn’t blossomed in to the grown-up, taupe fun festival of my dreams.

I thought Fantasie’s Vivienne (in mink technically, not taupe – but it’s in the ballpark) may be exactly what I’ve been looking for. And out of the box, she is. Shimmery, minky, taupey beautifulness with flashes of turquoise, this bra feels like the perfect bra to pretend to be a grown up in. And the pants are brilliant too – I am loving this new trend for seamless, see through bottoms – such a simple way to make even a simple pair of pants special. Plus, rude. I especially enjoy the rudeness.

I digress. I tried my usual 30G, and though the back could definitely have been more snug the bra fit decently – the wire tracked well, the cut looks great on, and in the mirror I felt like a quilted jacket and a slick of red lipstick away from my perfectly coiffured blogging dream.

Alas, that’s where the dream ends – for me at least. My prominent sternum (*shakes fist at bones*) just doesn’t get along with certain bras, and as lovely as Vivienne may look on and off her wires are extremely unforgiving on bony ribs. I almost wanted to flex the wires out the other way to stop them from pressing against my bones…. but that’s an expensive risk to take with £50+ lingerie. Sigh.

This time at least my Fantasie could not become my reality – but for those without flared rib cages or bony sternums, I recommend giving Vivienne a chance. She’s beautiful, she’s taupe, and she’s 50% off at Leia Lingerie right now. Taupe I tell you!

[To clarify…. it might seem counterintuitive to complain about pressure on ribs whilst simultaneously wishing for a snugger band. But actually, painful wires can be less of a sign of a ‘too tight’ bra than they are just an incompatible wire shape/bra shape for your body. Personally, I find that for bigger breasts a loose band can exacerbate irritation against ribs as much as a too tight one – as a less anchored bra can move around and irritate those pressure points. It’s about getting to know your body and shape, and learning what works for you. Butterfly Collection has some amazing blog posts designed to help you navigate these minefields – if in doubt I recommend heading over to their blog for some extra help understanding bra fit.]