Firstly, apologies for the hiatus. New job + three weeks of working away has left little time for boobs… but I’m back at B4J basecamp now and getting back to business.

First up, a shot at the impossible. The extremely nice people at innovative underwear brand Nudwear contacted me before I went away and offered to send me one of their adhesive bras to try. Now I should say here that I always refuse offers of product from brands that don’t cater to fuller cup sizes, but the Nudwear team suggested I give it a go anyway in a sister size. Could a stick on bra support G-Unit? In the name of science, I accepted.

The adhesive bra is not really a bra – rather two beige cups that connect via a clasp in the middle and adhere to your skin with a sticky silicon (not over the nipples – fear not). There are additional stealth hooks to add invisible straps should you want more support. It’s a little tricky to get on if you’ve got more of a handful, but with a little wiggling I had everything in place in a couple of minutes.

My friends, what followed was not pretty. I say I had everything in place… As you know I never share pictures of myself in the lingerie I test, but imagine two large, mis-shapen balls of raw dough slowly sliding down a wall and you pretty much have it. In the case of Gravity vs Nudwear, Gravity wins. For my self-esteem, I must now erase the memory of my reflection from my brain.

It’s worth saying that the adhesive bra get’s stellar reviews from smaller busted girls – I suspect if you don’t need huge amounts of support it’s a useful little tool for tricky dresses – not to mention a nifty solution for holiday packing. Having just carted three weeks’ worth of G-cup bras across America I have huge envy for girls who don’t need half a suitcase for their smalls. My strapless bras practically need their own passport.

Thanks to Nudwear for the sample and the optimism – for a moment I did dare to dream. And in spite of the disappointment, I had almost the polar opposite experience with some of their shapewear tech – so look out for a review coming soon.

The Nud adhesive bra retails at around $40 and is available in cup sizes A-D.