My mission to find the perfect white bra (stop saying Freya Jolie! I will not forget their murder of my beloved colours so quickly) continues, with Pour Moi?’s St Tropez padded plunge – pictured above.
Oh dear lord. Do you remember me saying that my favourite Panache Tango plunge was a TARDIS bra? Bigger on the inside, it takes my G-cups and tucks them away in to something that looks altogether less stratospheric. Well, this bra is the polar opposite. It is huge – each cup is easily the size of my face, and the thickness of an extra extra thick sanitary towel. But unlike the quantum mechanical wizardry of the Tango plunge, this titanic bra is tiny on the inside. There’s so much of the damned thing that there’s no room left for my actual boobs.
I tried a 30G, my more-often-than-not size. Thankfully, the
sanitary gear padding comes out – because with it I was spilling out like an H cup fitted by Victoria’s Secret. I get that even busty girls want padding sometimes, but if you’re going to cater for that customer then surely you should remember to leave room for their actual breasts too?
Once de-foamed my boobs had more room to breath, but that was about all they could do. Though the wire is incredibly wide (so wide it actually couldn’t tack around the curve of my frame…) there still wasn’t enough room in the cups for the centre gore to get close to my sternum. The band wasn’t firm either, not that I’d want the huge wires pulled tighter against my ribs either: it hurt where it couldn’t comfortably take the corner. Pour Moi? Non merci. C’etait terrible.
Considering the width and inflexibility of the cups I might think St Tropez had been designed for broad backed, broad breasted women – which knowing how hard that can be to fit I could perhaps applaud. But if that’s what you’re aiming for, you really have to ask… why the hell are you labelling them with petite back sizes?
I’m really disappointed with my first adventure with this brand because I’ve been desperate to try their swimwear for a long time. Perhaps there’ll be something else in their collection pour moi. In any case, this St Tropez certainly isn’t.