Oh no, Cosmo…

I don’t know whether it’s a getting older thing or if it’s just getting worse, but Cosmopolitan seems to truly be scraping the barrel for their online readers these days. Not only did I unfollow them on my non-boob account for missing the point of the Olympics entirely with this tweet at the closing ceremony:

But yesterday they depressed me right off my breakfast with this:

Cosmopolitan Twitter

I thought Cosmo (or the New Cosmo) was about sexual empowerment, but this seems like a pretty passive ambition for a ‘fun, fearless’ Cosmo girl. And sadly not a one off either. Check out these covers from various Cosmopolitans this year:

Make his 4 sex wishes come true! They’re not what you think, apparently. Which makes me imagine the article sidesteps the cliches of blowjobs and bum sex in favour of giving you permission to come. Am I warm, Cosmo?

20 ways to make him scream… in a good way! *puts away clown mask and climbs out of the cupboard…*

His best sex ever! AND 3 clues he’s secretly in to you. It’s fine, really. Self-esteem isn’t a problem when you have really fast growing hair…

I just can’t help but think young women deserve better from their aspirational magazines than this nonsense. Please, can someone create a Rookie for grown-ups?

P.S It’s unlikely that sending pictures of your bare boobs will ever result in a position of power in a relationship, especially if you’re still playing power games AND consulting Cosmopolitan on them. Sext responsibly, kids…

P.P.S Yes, Kate Middleton has nice hair. Can we get over it now please?

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5 Responses to Oh no, Cosmo…

  1. Zoggi says:

    I hope they remembered to specify that the really fast growing hair has to be on your head and no other places! Gosh, think how embarrassing *that* would be!!1!

  2. Ana says:

    I find this kind of mags sad, glad I’ve never been a fan of them. here we have ragazza, that is directed to teens (15-18) and I find it appalling that the main articles are always about sex. That could be not that bad and informative, but it isn’t, it’s always the “how to make him come” kind of article. Really, wtf most of these girls probably can’t even make themselves come why bother so much about the guys? Why do girls always have to try and “satisfy” them?
    It’s really stupid, hate these kind of mags they throw women back decades.

  3. Sweets says:

    I think the “even stars have body issues too” message on the Kim Kardashion cover is really insidious. It’s phrased like it’s trying to be all helpful, but in reality women (and men) need more models of people who feel GOOD about themselves, or aren’t worried about so-called “flaws.” Saying “this gorgeous person thinks she looks rotten, so what does that say about YOU” isn’t really cutting it for me any more. I’d rather a female star reveal something “relateable” that didn’t have anything to do with self-loathing.

  4. June says:

    Yeah that. I’m getting old too and they just annoy me. It doesn’t help that most show page after page of ill-fitting clothes and bras too, drives me nuts.

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